“I Was Weighed Down by My Feelings of Inadequacy”
The “Dawson’s Creek” and “Girls5eva” star says she suffered from low self-worth – until her adult ADHD diagnosis upended those feelings.
Actor Busy Philipps, 45, recently shared her ADHD diagnosis – a revelation that came as her young daughter was being evaluated and diagnosed. Philipps realized that she checked all the boxes for the condition too.
Despite earning the nickname “Busy” as a child because she rarely stopped moving, she had long dismissed her ADHD symptoms as personal weaknesses. Today the Dawson’s Creek, Freaks and Geeks, Cougar Town, and Girls5eva star reflects on life before and after her ADHD diagnosis at age 39.
Q: How has being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult made a difference in your life?
A late diagnosis allows you to look back at all the times when people in your life or career attributed certain ADHD traits – lack of organization or time management – to your not being able to get it together. I spent a great deal of my life not fully understanding why “easy” things were so difficult for me.
[How is ADHD Diagnosed? Your Free Guide]
The diagnosis has changed the way I view my past self. I’m so grateful that I know now. So many feelings of low self-worth have dissipated. With an earlier diagnosis and treatment plan, I probably would not have had the same kinds of struggles that I had in my 20s and 30s.
Q: Juggling motherhood and a career can feel like a precarious balancing act for just about any woman, let alone one with weak executive function skills. How did you manage when you were undiagnosed and untreated?
When I was a young mother and had small kids and was working full time on a network television show, I couldn’t keep appointments straight. I’d find myself double-booked or unable to make it at the last second. You really feel like you’ve let down your kid when you miss gymnastics class by an hour.
[Read: ADHD Symptoms in Women Aren’t ‘Hidden;’ They Are Misinterpreted]
I spent a great deal of my kids’ early lives being very weighed down by my own feelings of inadequacy. I felt I was failing them and myself. I thought that I couldn’t keep these things straight because of my lack of concentration, because I wasn’t trying hard enough, because I was tired, because all these other moms have it figured out and I don’t. I was very hard on myself.
Q: Some people with ADHD struggle with working memory. In your acting career, was it especially difficult to learn a new script and remember your lines?
If it’s something I’m interested in, I have no issue remembering that information. I recall my math teachers saying to me, “You can remember all those lines for the school play; why can’t you remember your times table?” I do think that has to do with my ADHD. I’m actually great at memorizing lines. I have a real gift for it.
Being an actor was something I was interested in, and so my ADHD let me focus on it. Even with time blindness, I was never late for a call time. This career that I loved so much and wanted to do – that took over and it was my only focus.
Q: Do you have any advice to help people with ADHD live better?
Make sure you’re able to get the treatment that works for you. You shouldn’t feel shame or stigma. There’s real power in owning it, even at work, even with people you love.
Adult Women with ADHD: Next Steps
- Free Women’s Health Month Calendar: 31 Days to Demand Attention!
- Read: Hormonal Changes in Women with ADHD — 4 Gaping Holes in Research
- Watch: Roundtable on ADHD in Women
- Read: “You Are Way Too Hard On Yourself…”
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Carole Fleck is Editor-in-Chief at ADDitude magazine.
