ADHD in Women

Intimate Partner Violence Among Women with ADHD

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is particularly prevalent among women with ADHD. Learn about red flags; the impacts of physical, sexual, and psychological abuse; and how to get help.

By Nicole C. Kear Updated on May 6, 2025
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With the benefit of hindsight, Candace Rollins* now sees the red flags of intimate partner violence (IPV) in her marriage. “The belittling comments that put me in my place — more and more over time, not letting me have friends over, driving a wedge between me and my family,” explains Rollins, a mother of three in Virginia. “I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I kept on keeping on. What do you do? You finish dinner. You get the kids in the bath.”

The night Rollins left her husband, he knew what she was planning. “He had his hand on the gun in his holster and he threatened me,” says Rollins. “I remember trying to be strong and saying to my daughter, ‘What is happening now should never happen.’”

Rollins is focused now on trying to heal and cut herself some slack. Getting an ADHD diagnosis in adulthood has been an illuminating part of her journey. “It explains everything,” she says. “How self-critical I was, never feeling good enough, always feeling like, ‘Why can’t I just get it right?’ I think, in hindsight, I wouldn’t have chosen who I chose to marry if I’d known I had ADHD.”

IPV and ADHD

IPV can include physical, sexual, and/or psychological abuse executed by a current or former partner. It does not discriminate, and can affect people of any gender, race, socioeconomic status, or level of education, explains psychologist Tami Sullivan, Ph.D., director of Family Violence Research and Programs and professor at Yale University’s School of Medicine. Women, however, are far more likely to be victims. Intimate partner violence is more common among women than breast cancer, diabetes, or depression.

Among women with ADHD, rates of IPV are even higher. Recent research from Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study (BGALS) found that women aged 17-24 who had received a childhood diagnosis of ADHD were five times more likely than their neurotypical peers to experience physical IPV. Greater ADHD symptom severity in childhood was associated with increased risk for IPV. 1

[Read: Why Adults with ADHD Are Particularly Vulnerable to Gaslighting]

“It’s underappreciated how difficult ADHD can be for girls and women because the consequences are more internal,” says Stephen Hinshaw, Ph.D., lead researcher of BGALS and professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. “Girls with ADHD are smart, but they can’t get it together. As they age, the tendency is depression, very low self-image, unplanned pregnancy, intimate partner violence, and non-suicidal self-injury.”

Risks, however, are not predetermined outcomes, and information is empowering. Below, learn what intimate partner violence looks like, how its impacts are felt, and what help is available.

The Truth About IPV

What IPV Looks Like

  • Psychological: threatening, intimidating, humiliating, criticizing, insulting, belittling, blaming, invading privacy, extreme jealousy/possessiveness, dismissing feelings
  • Physical: hitting, pushing, slapping, punching, restraining, choking, dragging
  • Sexual: coercing victim to have sexual acts or watch pornography, drugging victim
  • Technological: tracking location, demanding check-ins, excessive texting, monitoring communications
  • Financial: withholding access to bank accounts and credit cards, ruining the victim’s credit, taking the victim’s paycheck

[Read: Why Do Toxic Relationships Swallow People with ADHD?]

Psychological Abuse Is Rampant—and Overlooked

“Media depictions focus on physical and sometimes sexual abuse, showing a woman fearing for her life on a daily basis,” Sullivan says. “By promoting only that stereotype, we do a disservice to women who experience IPV differently, because they think, ‘Well, that’s not me. I’ve never had a bruise or a broken bone.’”

While patterns and specifics of abusive behavior vary widely, psychological abuse is pervasive. Explains Sullivan: “You almost never see physical and sexual abuse alone, without psychological abuse.” Sullivan and her research team collected data from victims of IPV for 90 days and found that psychological violence occurred on 27% of days — 13 times more often than physical, psychological, and sexual violence together. 2

It’s critical to identify psychological abuse because it often appears first, and can lead to physical and sexual abuse, not to mention dire health consequences on its own.

IPV Has Far-Reaching Impact

The health implications of IPV are often severe:

  • 51% of female homicide victims were killed by intimate partners 3
  • 80% of IPV survivors display trauma symptoms
  • 30% of survivors meet criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Survivors are at an increased risk for:

  • diabetes: +51%
  • total mortality: +44%
  • cardiovascular disease: +31% 4

IPV is also associated with an increased risk for substance use disorders, depression, anxiety, suicidality, traumatic brain injuries, working memory declines later in life 5, and issues of the gastrointestinal, reproductive, and musculoskeletal systems.6

And, to be clear, psychological abuse can be as serious and detrimental as physical abuse — even more so, in some cases. “Psychological abuse erodes self-worth and self-efficacy, that feeling of, ‘I’ve got this,’” says Sullivan. “It can be a stronger predictor of PTSD and depression than physical abuse.” 7

Healing from Abuse

“Twenty years ago, the mentality was, How do we get her to leave? The approach now is survivor-centered: What does she want to have happen?” explains Sullivan. “Not every person wants the abusive relationship to end; some just want the violence to stop. Providers need to ask, ‘Have you thought about what you want to do?’ This gives the person voice, something that’s often taken away from them.”

Evidence-based therapeutic interventions should be present-centered with a focus on empowerment, Sullivan says. These include Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), STAIR (Skills Training in Affective and Interpersonal Regulation), Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT), HOPE (Helping to Overcome PTSD through Empowerment).

Get Help

If you, or someone you love, is experiencing intimate partner violence, these resources may help:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline, Call 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788
  • Love Is Respect, for people aged 13-26, Call 866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522
  • National Sexual Assault Helpline, Call 1-800-656-HOPE

*Name has been changed to protect the person’s privacy

Intimate Partner Violence and ADHD: Next Steps

Nicole C. Kear is Consumer Health Editor at ADDitude magazone.

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Sources

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2Sullivan TP, McPartland T, Armeli S, Jaquier V, Tennen H. Is It the Exception or the Rule? Daily Co-occurrence of Physical, Sexual and Psychological Partner Violence In a 90-Day Study of Substance-Using, Community Women. Psychol Violence. 2012 Apr 1;2(2):10.1037/a0027106. doi: 10.1037/a0027106. PMID: 24349863; PMCID: PMC3859524.

3Jack SP, Petrosky E, Lyons BH, et al. Surveillance for Violent Deaths — National Violent Death Reporting System, 27 States, 2015. MMWR Surveill Summ 2018;67(No. SS-11):1–32.

4Chandan JS, Thomas T, Bradbury-Jones C, Taylor J, Bandyopadhyay S, Nirantharakumar K. Risk of Cardiometabolic Disease and All-Cause Mortality in Female Survivors of Domestic Abuse. J Am Heart Assoc. 2020;9:e014580. doi: 10.1161/JAHA.119.014580.

5Baker JS, Greendale GA, Hood MM, Karlamangla AS, Harlow SD. Self-reported history of physical intimate partner violence and longitudinal cognitive performance in midlife women. Womens Health (Lond). 2024 Jan-Dec;20:17455057241309782. doi: 10.1177/17455057241309782. PMID: 39707890; PMCID: PMC11663271.

6Stubbs, A., & Szoeke, C. (2022). The Effect of Intimate Partner Violence on the Physical Health and Health-Related Behaviors of Women: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(4), 1157-1172. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838020985541

7Mechanic MB, Weaver TL, Resick PA. Mental health consequences of intimate partner abuse: a multidimensional assessment of four different forms of abuse. Violence Against Women. 2008 Jun;14(6):634-54. doi: 10.1177/1077801208319283. PMID: 18535306; PMCID: PMC2967430.