A Woman’s Guide to Pursuing an AuDHD Diagnosis
Neurodivergence in women is still overlooked. Here, an autism and ADHD expert shares advice for women navigating the AuDHD diagnosis process.
Q: “I know that I’m autistic, but I require a diagnosis for the support I need. How do I communicate to my clinician in a respectful way that I’m smart and read many of the same materials they do? Trying to get a proper diagnosis has been exhausting.”
First, I would encourage you not to be defensive during your visit. Clinicians have to follow a process to give you a diagnosis. This may seem like a waste of time, but a full differential diagnosis requires more than just asking neurodivergent-related questions. You may be asked questions that you feel are irrelevant, but that are important nonetheless.
There might be something you can learn, and something that you can teach the clinician. I have thanked patients for correcting me about certain things and I think that those interactions have been transformative for them too. I know I’ve learned from them.
[Take the Autism in Women Self-Test]
Having said that, it is important for all of us to feel respected, and that includes respect from your clinician. If you feel your provider is cynical or not listening to you, or they’re not acting in a collaborative way, then you can say thank you and move on.
Q: “What are the common misdiagnoses given to girls and women with ADHD and autism?”
Autistic girls and women with ADHD are often diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. This is a difficult differential diagnosis because it entails so much — dichotomous thinking, emotional reactivity, and fears of rejection and abandonment.
They also get misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and, more commonly, with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This is because many neurodivergent individuals like repetitiveness, or like to systematize things, and have trouble interrupting a sequence, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have OCD. It’s also not uncommon to have co-occurring conditions.
Q: “Are autistic girls with ADHD more likely to experience emotional dysregulation than their neurotypical peers?”
Emotional dysregulation is not part of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD or autism, but it is very much a part of the lived experience for both conditions — and it can be very impairing. Rejection sensitivity (the tendency to intensely react to real or perceived rejection), along with spiraling emotions or thoughts, impairs a person’s functioning and ability to interact and listen.
[Get This Free Download: Your Autism Evaluation Checklist]
According to society’s gender roles, girls and women are not supposed to get upset or display anger. When faced with rejection, we may hold it in and mask — only to eventually explode. So being unable to understand our emotions and know when we need to breathe, or step away, is important.
AuDHD Diagnosis: Next Steps
- Take These Self-Tests:
- Learn: How to Get Evaluated for Autism as an Adult
- Read: Autism and ADHD in Adults
- Read: “Women Need Better, More Accurate Diagnostic Tools for ADHD”
- Read: “What to Expect After Your AuDHD Diagnosis”
- Read: ADHD, Autism, and Neurodivergence Are Coming Into Focus
- Read: “A Living Contradiction” — The AuDHD Experience
- Free eBook: The Truth About Autism in Adults
Karen Saporito, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been in private practice for more than 20 years.
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