Executive Functions

Q: “How Do I Teach My Child to Prioritize Tasks When They Insist Everything Is ‘Important’?”

“Children with ADHD can learn how to prioritize with brain dumps, deadline rankings, and shorter to-do lists, among other strategies.”

Q: “My child thinks every task is equally important. How can I help them learn to prioritize their to-do list?”

Triaging a to-do list rarely comes naturally, but it’s learning how to prioritize is a skill that can be taught. Guide your child through these steps:

1. Brain Dump: Jot down every single task on the horizon.

2. Next, Sort.

  • When is each task due? Note deadlines next to related items. For looming deadlines, mark the task as “urgent” by adding an exclamation point!
  • Is it important? Put an * next to important tasks, which will help your child achieve a goal or relate to a core value.

3. Make a shorter list: On a new page, create a smaller to-do list containing five or so items. The first items should be urgent, followed by some important ones. Set aside the long list and only refer to the short list. When it’s time for a new to-do list, return to the brain dump to pull more tasks.

[Get This Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for Prioritization]


Q: “My child struggles to get started on tasks. How can I move them along?”

Avoidance procrastination happens when you dread an unpleasant task. Maybe the task was unwieldy to begin with, or maybe it started small (e.g., writing in a daily reading log) but due to avoidance, ballooned in size (e.g., a whole month of daily entries). For your child, tackling the unpleasant task feels like climbing Mount Everest — without a sherpa. They don’t know where they’re going or what to expect.

Help your child break the unpleasant task into small, bite-sized chunks. And by small, I mean tiny. The first step of writing an essay isn’t “Write the first paragraph.” Instead, try: “Open a new document and write your name at the top.” Accomplishing this tiny step increases the odds of moving to step two. The idea is to focus on one small thing, and then another and another until the sum of the task is completed.

If your child still can’t get started, it probably means the steps aren’t small enough.


Q: “My child always gets their work done —at the last possible minute. Is there any way around this?”

Deadlines work wonders to get kids with ADHD locked in and focused. Why? When you’re up against a wall, adrenaline and cortisol activate your brain, giving you the motivation you need to get started — and creating a lot of stress in your body. Here are some ways to get ADHD brains engaged without all that stress.

  • Create your deadline: After breaking down the big task, leverage the power of a deadline by having your child create one for each step.
  • Race the clock: Have your child use the low-stakes pressure of a timer to motivate their work.
  • Body double: Encourage your child to find a body double, someone they can work alongside to make the task more stimulating.

How to Prioritize Tasks: Next Steps

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and author of several books.


SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.